A Change In The Season

I'm sure I'm not the only woman that starts feeling strange when the season changes. I have noticed that my mood changes along with my appearance with each coming season for example when the leaves started changing color I had an urge to dye my hair. Now that winter is upon us I want to cut my hair in a style that is very different from my everyday style. I eel the need to be daring and different. I did some research and got a lot of different opinions as to why this happens. My favorite is that it has something to do with the moon and the energy that is in the air. Who really knows why people do the things that we do. My main point is that if you wake up one morning with an undying urge to dye your hair pink and start wearing Goth clothes then you should probably just go with it if you feel strongly about it then its more than likely something that you need in your life whatever the reason.Don't stress yourself to much about what other people will think do what you need to do to make yourself  happy. On that note my thought for the day is this (even though it is someone Else's  quote it is one I live by) Without Change there would be No Butterflies.

Stone In My Path

I do believe that there is a path set for all of us and that everything happens for a reason. I also know that along that path there are many obstacles that we have to face and every obstacle makes us who we are. Often in my life I have felt like the path I am on isn't a path at all but a maze that's going around in circles. I look around and find that I haven't really gone anywhere but at the same time I am completely lost. These are the times that I sit back and ask myself where it is that I am trying to go? How do I go about getting there? What is it that is holding me back? I decide that I know where I want to be and try my best to get there it is very hard to stay on one path when there are so many distractions and so many people that want to see you fail. Think about how happy you will be when you finally get to the place you want to be in life. Think about how mad all those people that where holding you down will be. Then take that step, when you look ahead and see a stone in your path pick it up and move on. By the end of your journey you will have all of those stones to remind you of how hard you worked to get there and you will appreciate it so much more. With that my thought for the day is this...Every stone in your path is a learning experience its up to you to either learn from it or trip on it.

The Butterfly Effect

Hello ladies today I want to talk about cause and effect. They say that by just flapping it's wings a butterfly can cause a hurricane.Who would have thought that something so simple could cause something so disastrous right? Well we see this cause and effect theory everyday in our own lives and usually don't notice it because it seems so simple. For example, A boy leaves his ball on the side walk no big deal right? Wrong because 4 hours later the mailman trips on the same ball and breaks his collarbone but wait there is more. Now the mail mans wife has to stay home from work to take care of him and loses her job and because neither of them can work they go bankrupt oh wait it gets better. Their son Jimmy can't go to college so he turns to a life of crime and starts robbing peoples houses for extra cash. One night Jimmy robs a house and gets caught in the act the home owner shoots Jimmy. I could go on with that but I think you get the point. It all started with a simple ball being left on the sidewalk if he had picked it up things would have happened differently. Everything that we do in life is cause and effect. Most people choose not to see things this way because it means that they have to take responsibility for the their actions. Everything that happens in your life is at some point caused by your choices. Example I knew a girl who was introduced to drugs by her ex boyfriend, two years later her children were taken away, she was homeless and living in a shelter she looked me in the face and told me it was all his fault for giving it to her in the first place my response was this. "Did he put a gun to your head and force you to smoke it" she laughed and said "no" so I said "when he gave it to you did you take it willingly" she said "well yes but he convinced me to do it" I then told her that the choice was still hers and she will never be free of guilt until she takes responsibility for her actions she started crying. The past is the past you can't change it all you can do is learn from it and move on. We have all done things that we aren't proud of but dwelling on it will only cause you pain. In the end you can't see the future but you can try to see one step ahead. Before you make a choice think to yourself what could happen if you make that choice? Will it effect anyone besides yourself? Are you prepared to take responsibility if it does? Don't get me wrong we will still sometimes make the wrong choices we wouldn't be human if we didn't but by thinking first you just might spare yourself some pain and maybe even someone else. My thought for the day is this: Take charge of your own life, take responsibility for your own actions because they are two things that are truly yours and no one else's.

Relationships

Lets talk about relationships, A relationship is defined as
 re·la·tion·ship  (r-lshn-shp)

n.

1. The condition or fact of being related; connection or association.

2. Connection by blood or marriage; kinship.

3. A particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other: has a close relationship with his siblings.

4. A romantic or sexual involvement.

 

But lets face it ladies a relationship is so much more than that. A relationship is TRUST, RESPECT, LOYALTY, DEVOTION, HEADACHES, TEARS, PASSION, PAIN, JOY, and for some LIFE or DEATH. The relationships that we have help define who we are. How we treat people, how we feel about the way people treat us. Why do women stay in relationships that don't make them happy? Is it love or is it fear? Sometimes the fear of being alone keeps us from being truly happy. Sometimes the love we have for someone won't let us leave and sometimes you think its love but its truly fear and you just don't know the difference. How confusing is that. The thing that's good about relationships is we have the power to pick and choose who we have relationships with. Sometimes it doesn't feel that way but its true. We can't choose our family but we can choose whether or not to deal with them. If your not happy with your partner you have the choice to stay or leave. The hard part is putting yourself first. Let me give you an example from my personal experience.

I was 19 years old with very low self esteem I was overweight and thought I was ugly. Along comes this guy who let me tell you wasn't much to look at, he had nothing going for himself, no job, no money...a bum but when I met him he looked in my eyes and told me I was beautiful and that he could see his future in my eyes, needless to say from that moment on he had me wrapped around his finger. Thirteen years and 4 children later I was working two jobs to support him while he sat in my living room on my computer talking to other women on myspace. In the whole 13 years he worked for maybe two months in total. He cheated on me often, never cleaned the house, and treated me like shit. He would put me down so that I would think nobody else would want me and that was enough to make me stay. I convinced myself that I stayed because I loved him so much and believed that he loved me too. It wasn't until I met a woman who asked me why I stayed with him I answered my usual answer because I love him and he loves me. She said if he loves you so much why is he letting you kill yourself working two jobs and taking care of the house? If he loves you so much how can he sit back and watch you struggle. Although I had been asked this before something was different this time I couldn't think of an answer. So that night I went home and asked him the same question and you know what he didn't have an answer either he just said who have you been talking to, who put this in your head. He had done a good job at keeping me away from people who would try to help me see what was really going on so he was pretty mad when I laughed at him and said "I don't need you to complete me...GET OUT ". It is very hard to be alone especially if you don't feel good about yourself but how can you ever feel good about yourself if you allow someone else to control who you are. So my thought for today is this...

Choose your relationships wisely because who you choose to be with is always your choice.

Inner Happiness

Well hello again ladies, Today I want to talk about some things I saw on the bus on my way to work. I saw a girl wearing boy clothes with a short hair cut. I saw a girl with rainbow colored hair, a Beatles shirt and leopard print leggins with what looked like a pink tutu, knee high combat boots, tattoos  and gauges in her ears. I saw an old woman in skin tight jeans, six inch heals, and a Gucci bag.The one thing that all these women had in common was the huge smile on their faces. I couldn't help but smile because they were so happy to just be themselves no matter what anybody else might think. It hurts me to see women trying to change who they are to be accepted by society or dressing like hookers because they think its the only way to get attention. If you pay attention you'll see that these woman very rarely smile. There is nothing sexier than a confident woman, believe me ladies if you are happy with the way you look it will radiate from your pores and people will take notice and you'll get the attention that you crave.
So Shonnas thought for today is this: Be yourself at any cost, your the only one who can control your happiness therefore your opinion is the only one that really matters.

The Beginning

Well hello ladies please bare with me I am new at this blog thing and still trying to figure things out but lets start with a thought for the day.

      Shonnas Thought For The Day: I am the only one with the power to make me happy. If I am not happy with my situation only I have the power to change it. For example, if you hate your job then you should find a new one. Now I know your thinking that you have bills to pay and you can't just quit your job, well I agree you shouldn't just quit your job but maybe its time you sit back and ask yourself what do I really want to do in life? If what you want seems impossible ask yourself why it's impossible, maybe just maybe its not as hard as you think. For as long as I can remember I wanted to be a tattoo artist but didn't think I could draw well enough or that women are not really popular as tattoo artists. I convinced myself I couldn't do it because I was afraid but you know what here I am now at 36 working in a popular tattoo shop. I sat back and said this is what I want to do and I started looking around for someone to apprentice me and believe me when I tell you that was no easy task but I didn't give up and you shouldn't either. Decide what it is that will make you happy and go for it. Take classes in your free time, study up on your chosen profession, ask questions, there are people that can and will help you sometimes all you have to do is ask. Please tell me what it is that you want to do I might have some suggestions.