Relationships

Lets talk about relationships, A relationship is defined as
 re·la·tion·ship  (r-lshn-shp)

n.

1. The condition or fact of being related; connection or association.

2. Connection by blood or marriage; kinship.

3. A particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other: has a close relationship with his siblings.

4. A romantic or sexual involvement.

 

But lets face it ladies a relationship is so much more than that. A relationship is TRUST, RESPECT, LOYALTY, DEVOTION, HEADACHES, TEARS, PASSION, PAIN, JOY, and for some LIFE or DEATH. The relationships that we have help define who we are. How we treat people, how we feel about the way people treat us. Why do women stay in relationships that don't make them happy? Is it love or is it fear? Sometimes the fear of being alone keeps us from being truly happy. Sometimes the love we have for someone won't let us leave and sometimes you think its love but its truly fear and you just don't know the difference. How confusing is that. The thing that's good about relationships is we have the power to pick and choose who we have relationships with. Sometimes it doesn't feel that way but its true. We can't choose our family but we can choose whether or not to deal with them. If your not happy with your partner you have the choice to stay or leave. The hard part is putting yourself first. Let me give you an example from my personal experience.

I was 19 years old with very low self esteem I was overweight and thought I was ugly. Along comes this guy who let me tell you wasn't much to look at, he had nothing going for himself, no job, no money...a bum but when I met him he looked in my eyes and told me I was beautiful and that he could see his future in my eyes, needless to say from that moment on he had me wrapped around his finger. Thirteen years and 4 children later I was working two jobs to support him while he sat in my living room on my computer talking to other women on myspace. In the whole 13 years he worked for maybe two months in total. He cheated on me often, never cleaned the house, and treated me like shit. He would put me down so that I would think nobody else would want me and that was enough to make me stay. I convinced myself that I stayed because I loved him so much and believed that he loved me too. It wasn't until I met a woman who asked me why I stayed with him I answered my usual answer because I love him and he loves me. She said if he loves you so much why is he letting you kill yourself working two jobs and taking care of the house? If he loves you so much how can he sit back and watch you struggle. Although I had been asked this before something was different this time I couldn't think of an answer. So that night I went home and asked him the same question and you know what he didn't have an answer either he just said who have you been talking to, who put this in your head. He had done a good job at keeping me away from people who would try to help me see what was really going on so he was pretty mad when I laughed at him and said "I don't need you to complete me...GET OUT ". It is very hard to be alone especially if you don't feel good about yourself but how can you ever feel good about yourself if you allow someone else to control who you are. So my thought for today is this...

Choose your relationships wisely because who you choose to be with is always your choice.